Lock up the women

I had one of those moments this evening.
We went to one of Mason's classmates house for dinner tonight. To protect the names of the innocent, we will refer to is classmate as "Girl #1". Girl #1 is also 4 and she has a sister who is in first grade. These are two of the most wonderful little girls....sweet, polite and funny.

We had a great dinner and everyone behaved wonderfully. The plates were cleared, the adults talked and the kids played. All was good.

Off of the kitchen was a little sun room where Mason and Girl #1 were playing. I just did a quick peek in and saw them both sitting in a big chair. Now it is hard to describe the look at both their faces, but I could tell something was up, like they were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. "What are you two up to?", I asked. The response from my Mason was a quick "nothing". This immediately means he did something and there is no way he wants me to know about it. When he is a teenager, I know this will morph in to "Just leave me alone ok. Jeez, can't I have some space." But, until that time, I will live with "nothing"

When I asked a second time, Girl #1 said, "Mason let's just show him". My first thought to this sentence was "Oh crap, what am I going to see?" Then Girl #1 leaned in and kisses Mason on the lips and I do not mean that little peck you see to kids give each other. I quickly told them that maybe they should stop doing that and tried not to have one of those freak out moments. This was quickly followed by them telling me that Girl #1's sister told them to do it......Oh good, that makes this situation better.

I immediately went back in to the kitchen, prepared to ignore that moment and then Girl #1 comes in and yells "Mommy, Mason and I were kissing on the lips" Where was I when she said this? Right next to her dad....he was washing one of the knives from dinner.

The kids went back in to the sun room and her mom and I went in after them, to see them try to kiss again. This time her mom jumped in....I'm not sure why, but I was getting so uncomfortable. I thought it was the father of the daughter that would have this moment, but I guess being the guest in the house and bringing in my boy to their area was causing this affect.

Now of course I know this was an innocent event and no harm was caused, but there was one of those moments. It was that moment in time, standing next to the father while he hears that his daughter was kissing a boy.....Years from now, when the hormones are in full forces, I hope they forget this night and invite us over again...the food was really good.

Eat Your Veggies

I have uncovered one of the great mysteries....How do you get kids to eat all their veggies. For generations, parents have been struggling with their children to eat all their veggies or even try a new food. With most kids, they will fight you and find any reason to not eat the food.

At times, Mason has told me he does not like the color green or that a certain veggie made him sad (what that meant, I have no idea).

It was not until tonight that I came to the solution and all it took was the maturity level of a child. It just so happens we are talking about my maturity level.

Just repeat after me "Beans, beans good for your heart. The more you eat the more you fart"

Yes, within this little saying is the key to all the food problems. Mason did not want to try black beans, but then I reached down low and pulled out the saying. To Mason's delight, if he ate this food, he might get to fart!!!! So, why not tell kids that all that food that is good for you also allows you to break wind.... No harm, no foul. Unless of course your child really does start to let them rip and then they will just have to learn to play by themselves.....

Note: This theory may only work with boys.....

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream

When Mason was a baby, he would cry and it would never really get to me. He would cry in the car and I could just block it out, he would cry at night and I could just tune it out...all was good.

When Ben was born, I assumed this would be true...I mean, I handled the crying of Mason, how much different could it be?

I'm here to say................A HELL OF LOT DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!

When I am driving and Ben is crying, I can not tune it out, I am thinking about driving off the road. When Ben is crying at night, I am wondering if I could suffocate myself with the pillow.

There are several levels to the Ben cry. There is the simple whine that I can handle, but it's there, haunting me.
There is the next level where I my shoulders start to tense up quickly followed by my shoulders becoming really tense and all of a sudden I realize that my shoulders are touching my ears.
Then there is the final level where I start thinking about stabbing my inner ear with a pencil.

As you can tell, the crying is just awful. It's primal, aggressive and angry. He's is the sweetest baby, who laughs out loud, but when he does cry....oh man, it is just painful.


So to all those parents out there that live by " If it's not your child crying, it's not that bad" I call Bullshit!!!!!

One

I have a new scientific theory.....The size of the child is inversely related to the amount of room they need in a bed. Let's take a step back.

Beth and I have one rule that we have done really well with so far with both of the boys and that is....no kids sleeping in our bed. Well, sometimes these rules need to be bent. One example was last night/this morning when Ben woke up at midnight and decided to scream until 4:00am (yes you just read that correctly) We tried everything and finally Beth just brought him in to the bed. (note: if I suggested that as a solution, I'm pretty sure Beth would have bitten my head off...literally).

Anyway, as soon as he was between us, he immediately relaxed and went back to sleep. He also started taking a serious angle in the bed. Beth seemed to have the same amount of space, maybe a little more and I was slowly getting squeezed off the bed. I was able to fall asleep at one point, only to wake up with half my ass hanging off the bed. I adjusted my position and was able to get another two hours of sleep. Was it peaceful? Well, I woke up with my head on the nightstand. I was literally pushed off the bed. I have had a bad back and neck all day and it is due to a child who comes up to my kneecap, needing all the space in the bed.....